Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..

If you know what iconic band sings that line, congrats you’re winner In my book.  Now onto the real topic of discussion.

Recently, I’ve been proposed with the question if I enjoy being lonely/alone. My first instinct to the question was along the lines of “hell no” and “go fuck yourself.” But of course, I responded in the philosophical way of asking a question back to counteract the statement.

“Doesn’t everyone get lonely sometimes?”

Now building onto that, I choose to be alone. 

I am a 20 year old woman who would rather sit in a claw foot bathtub, drink wine and read in solitary than face social interaction some days, do we all not feel that way at some point in our lives?

Now I fully believe this question was intended to dive into my relationships rather than a general statement.

I have done a lot of analyzing recently, probably too much. I realize I’ve been out of a relationship for half a year and I suppose I’m just not ready to put myself out there yet.  My last exclusive relationship, as you might have read in a previous post of mine, was a train wreck. He was very controlling and I was forced to be very dependent on him and that’s just not how I roll. He took a giant chunk out of me and I suppose I’m building myself back up. I have goals in life that require me to have a man involve– children, marriage, etc. But at this negative point in my life, that’s all a man is to me. Someone who can supply my goals.